Found out her "issues" were b/c she'd been eating chocolate again. I swear. I'm going to have to start pining a note to her like a kindergartener. ALLERGIC TO CHOCOLATE.
My aunt wasn't doing very well so I couldnt take mom to see/stay with her at Christmas. My sweet wonderful awesome hubby said he'd stay home with her and let me take our kids to see my dad and stepmom, grandma and the rest of the family, just after Christmas.
We stayed a few days and the girls had a great time. Like having Christmas all over again.
And we started home. An uneventful trip, until we got about halfway in. 2 1/2 hours from home, 2 1/2 hours from my dad's. The kids needed to use the restroom so we stopped, and while we were walking around the store, I had this terrible attack of dizzy/faintness and nausea. Scared me! I felt terrible, ended up calling my hubby and 911. The EMTs took all of us to the hospital (did I mention I was in nowheresville??! ) Hubby calls the calvary as he puts it, the nearest fam was 45 mins away (bless you sweet cousin, for dropping everything and running!) She came and sat with the kids, while I was checked out and finally diagnosed with inner ear problems and given a shot. Hubby got there ( and my dad!) about the time they were letting me out. Another cousin lived close too and she was there as well. Nice to know you have family that will drop and run for you. :)
Came home, and felt better after a couple of days, and New Years Eve a tornado went over our house. Wow that was scary! But the house was ok, we lost a tree and part of the privacy fence, and it landed on a neighbors shed. But it could have been soooo much worse.
The next weekend we had an ice storm. Yeah thats our weather. Tornados one weekend, ice the next. This whole time I had some "spells" and went back to the doctor who thinks I have inner ear sinus stuff and some stress and anxiety. You think? Naw, what could be stressful about a family, small kids, a mom with EOAD and a tornado a full time job with too many job duties??! He gave me a self depression test, and while I have some signs, his words were "you arent over the edge yet, and coping pretty well" this is coping well? Dang. I'd hate to see not coping well!
Then the next week I had a terrible spell, back to the doc, this time he said I was also having migraines. yeah, thats awesome. So now I carry to scripts in my purse for these "attacks" wow, I totally feel like a southern woman now. ;)
But, the worst part is, now I am scared I'm going to have an attack, be alone and it be really bad. So now I'm having panic attacks. Yeah, 2011 is starting off to be a GREAT year, let me tell you.
I think I figured out whats causing the migraines and dizziness stuff tho, I think its a muscle. I was reading about neck and shoulder muscles and how they can cause the symptoms I'm having...and I have a lot of pain in my right shoulder/neck area, I think from my desk at work. So looks like I'm going back to the doctor with that, and the panic stuff. Its so scary...I hate it.
So far the only things that calms me back down is my hubby, my girls, counting backwards from 100, and quoting scriptures. Like, I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from?
And you are my strong tower...lifter of my head...all sorts of verses about God's strength, jumbled up, just whatever comes pouring out at the time. The some of my favorite songs come bubbling up... Holy holy holy, is the Lord God Almighty etc. Today I started two new books, crazy love, and Jesus Calling devotional. They are perfect. I found out that when the Hebrews said Holy Holy Holy...that was reference to God's perfection. So when I sing that song, I am calling on his perfection in my time of weakness. Had no idea I was doing that...but now that I do, thats pretty stinkin' amazing.
I had a crazy panic moment in the walmart the other day. I was by myself, and I felt the familiar ear pressure, and was "afraid" I'd get dizzy and puke again. So I started breathing hard. It was all I could do not to shove the cart into the freezer counter and run. Flight of fight in my case is totally flight. But I managed to breath through it..and made it to the checkouts, where of course, the line is 4 people deep. Great. Last think I need is to stand in line. When, all of a sudden, new line opened. Wow...THANKS GOD! You were watching for me then! I wasnt #1, but I was #2, and the lady infront of my had an adorable little girl, about 9 months old. So I started playing with her. yeah, I was the crazy woman in walmart playing with a strangers baby, but it was keeping me from losin' it aight??! Peek a boo etc while the lady was paying for her stuff. Thank you JESUS For that baby. I made it through that one.
I cant keep having these...its frustrating and scary. I found out my church is starting a new thing called "living free" that meets on Tues night. Tomorrow is the first night. I am going, I need some more Jesus to get through this. In my weakness he is strong.
so if you have a good verse, or a good quote, or any tips for panic attacks, do feel free to leave them here or email me. I need 'em.
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